Sunday, January 20, 2013

The day pinterest set my face on fire

Mix an egg yolk with some honey, 
they said.

Use it as a face mask, 
they said.

It will smooth your wrinkles, shrink your pores, get rid of fine lines, and make you look like Cate Blanchett, 
they said.

Okay, they didn't say that. Whatever. 

I mixed it up with all the fervor of Dr. Moreau. (He mixed things, right?)

Then I sank into my gingerbread infused bath as it sat on my face. The concoction, I mean, not Dr. Moreau. That'd be weird! And awkward.

After about five seconds, before I could even crack open my book, my face began to tingle.

Then it burst into flames.

I washed off my yellow slime and wondered if my free ranging, organic, backyard chicken egg was to blame. Maybe this only worked with pale, grain fed, anemic eggs? 

In spite of being gone, my face still burned. In fact, it was getting worse. I stole a peek at myself in the mirror. I was not rocking the cranberry color. 

Let this be a lesson to us all. There are evil pinterest minions in the world who twirl their mustaches and come up with ridiculous ideas, pin them, then sit back and wait for dummies to try them. 

I am that dummy.

I am so reporting this problem to the pinterest board. 
Just as soon as I try this DIY ear wax removal.

Ta-ta!

2 comments:

  1. Hahaha! You are so funny. And gross. But mostly funny! Hope your face grows back!

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  2. I am telling you... As one who has made it my mission to try different Pinterest things- there is only about a 30% success rate... and some of the ones that go wrong, go REALLY wrong. What ever you do- don't try the DIY plastic surgery pin.

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